We are All Mad Here-My Life in Wonderland

“But I don’t want to go among mad people," Alice remarked.
"Oh, you can’t help that," said the Cat: "we’re all mad here. I’m mad. You’re mad."
"How do you know I’m mad?" said Alice.
"You must be," said the Cat, "or you wouldn’t have come here.”
― Lewis Carroll, Alice in Wonderland    
Sometimes I wake up feeling like Alice in her Wonderland. I have gone to sleep feeling just like myself and in the morning I feel as tiny as Alice after she drank from the bottle labeled 'drink me'. So small that I can barely see through the window into the light of the day. On days such as this even the act of getting dressed seems to huge an undertaking. As dawn breaks Sophie and her demands, appointments, needs and quirks tower over me like Mount Everest. 
There are other days when I open my eyes to find I  feel like my head could hit the ceiling as Alice's did after she consumed the 'Eat me' cake. I get up ready and able to take on anything. Sophie has three appointments that day, no problem. She is verbally stimming, chirping and repeating- I got this. I can handle the laundry, make dinner and still find time to sit down for a cup of coffee.
This feeling of largeness and smallness is enough to make anyone feel crazy yet we all feel this way at our house. As the cat said, "you must be (mad) or you wouldn't have come here"
Today begins a week off of school for Sophie. In some ways this is a great 'rest' of sorts. There is no rush to get up and get out the door. I can let her sleep in and take our time eating our breakfast. We can lounge on the sofa and watch movies or some of her favorite TV shows. The downside of having no school is that there are endless hours to fill. One moment she wants to color, the next she wants to go knock on the neighbor kids door, then she is crying that she is board. This morning she picked the skin off from around her thumb until it bled saying she is nervous that the behaviorist wont keep her appointment today. It breaks my heart when she does things like that. I can't imagine what torment her little mind must be in.
Then we have days like yesterday. We all went out to celebrate Emily's birthday. Sophie asked to wear a dress, never mind that she doesn't own a dress, her sister found one to lend her. Sophie allowed Em to 'style' her complete with hair, lip gloss and super cool boots. Soph filled her skull bag to the brim with toys and her IPOD then we were good to go. We arrived at the brunch spot and thankfully they sat us quiet'ish area in the back. The meal went off without a hitch, she ate well and was mostly calm. The ultimate moment for me was that she reached out and grabbed Emily's hand and they walked to the car holding hands and chatting. We spent the rest of the day at home just hanging out and ended it watching the Wizard of Oz. Such a typical, lovely Sunday. So very rare in our lives.
I think you can now see why I feel like Alice. The difference is I never know what I am waking up to a drink me day or an eat me day.
Our house is a crazy Wonderland and I am just hanging on and going for the ride.

Hygiene- A Daily Struggle

We have just finished eating dinner and I ask Sophie to take her plate to the kitchen sink then in a slightly lower voice I say, it is time for you to take your shower. Her shoulders tense immediately and she screams, NOOOOOOOOO! I don't stink. NOOOOOOO! Thus begins our nightly dance and deal making session. I try, you don't have to wash your hair. She says, I will take a shower tomorrow, just let me skip this one night. She is visibly dirty and I can smell her from the table. I must stay strong I must get this kid clean! To say that getting Sophie into the shower is like trying to thread a needle on a runaway horse is putting mildly. She is never in the mood. This is just one of the many hygiene challenges.
Shower time is just one of the many 'choose your battles' moments I face everyday.  I have learned to turn my head at her wearing the same shorts (and many times the same shirt) multiple days in a row and I have let her go to school more than once with her hair un-groomed those are not hills I am willing to fight on. Showering is just one of the many self care practices we have had trouble with.
Hair washing has been and still is a hit and miss deal. She can stand under the shower and apply the shampoo but scrubbing and rinsing are much more difficult. She is terrified of getting water into her eyes so she holds a wash cloth over them leaving only one hand to get the soap out with. Until 10 months ago she refused to wipe her bottom after a poop, refused! The sensation was just much to overwhelming for her so was called to handle this every single time. By far our biggest challenge has been tooth care! Brushing, flossing.....forget it! She wants zero to do with it. Well yesterday this caught up with her. For the past week she has been complaining about a red, irritated spot on the roof of her mouth.  We thought perhaps it was a scrape due to eating a crunchy chip or a minor rub from her braces. Saturday night she told me it hurt a lot! This was cause for concern she has a very high pain tolerance. When she broke her elbow she cried but after a few moments begged to continue playing- thank goodness for my mommy instinct that heard something slightly off in her cry. After much discussion she finally let Emily touch it with her finger and it was a puffy, filled with something bubble. I took her to the dentist yesterday morning and it is some type of gum (or maybe tooth root) infection. Mommy fail!!!! I feel so badly that what may have begun as a slight irritation has turned into this. I have her go brush her teeth twice a day but she is just not getting it so here we are Bill is now flossing and I am brushing her teeth. As I said to Bill this morning one step forward and two steps back.