Sophie's Sister- post by Emily

                                   
I was an only child for almost 10 years, to say the least I was an "easy" baby for my young parents. I started sleeping through the night at 6 weeks, gave up my "passie" at 3 months, started walking at 10 months, and started kindergarten at the age of 4 because my mom said I was "bored" in pre-k. However, when I was just 9 1/2 my parents had my sister Sophie. I was excited to be a big sister, finally someone to play with, my real life baby doll to take care of. I was a little jealous of the attention I knew my sister would get when she was born, and even told my parents that if she had the same big dimples as me I would fill hers up with cream cheese, but nevertheless my eyes grew big and my heart melted the first time I held Sophie in my arms.

As life progressed and I moved on from elementary school to middle school, Sophie also grew into a healthy funny little sister. My friends would always say "Sophie is so silly", "She is so cool", "I wish I was as cool as her when I was little". Although I was envious of my sisters bursting personality at such a young age and her eccentric attitude to march to her own beat, I smiled inside and loved to show my sister off because she really is and was so much cooler than me. She would wear silly outfits around the house and out on errands, even letting me and my friends put wigs and glasses on her to make us laugh.

  As Sophie moved into elementary school and I into High School she still remained the coolest little sister and my friends were her biggest fans. They did not think it was strange she would carry little toys in her pockets, hold onto rocks she found on the ground, or even sniff dryer sheets periodically throughout the day. And to tell you the truth neither did I, I just thought "wow my sister is so cool". I danced my entire life and as we dragged her along to dance competitions she would remain the star, never shy to make up her own moves and show all my team mates. However, my parents knew something was different, something was off, but again I am almost 10 years older than her and basically lived as an only child so I did not see the same challenges my parents saw and the differences of Sophie's development compared to mine. I just thought that my parents did not understand her and that being her sister I knew what she was saying, wanting, and asking for. I thought I could just relate to her better, like we had a special sisterly bond that my parents would never understand, and that they thought because she was different than me that something was "wrong". But I was wrong.

My parents fought for a long time to get a diagnosis for my sister, to find her help, and to get her into a school where she fits in. Even after my sister was diagnosed with Autism and intellectual disability I never stopped thinking my sister was the coolest sister in the world, and luckily neither did my friends. When old friends see Sophie again and new friends meet her they still say "Sophie is so silly", "She is so cool". She marches to her own beat still and inspires me to do the same. We still have our own language, our own connection that my parents will never understand. I know what she is saying, what she wants, and what she means, even when my parents are frustrated beyond belief. I am able to explain to my sister what my mom and dad can not, and I'm not sure if it is because of the special sisterly bond I always wanted, or because she is part of me and while our brains work differently they also work the same.

I know my sister may never have the same opportunities as me. She may never get married, have children, live on her own, have a job, or go to college, but she will always have friends that love her. She will have her own friends and she will have mine, because where I go she will come too. I am very vocal with my parents in telling them how important it is for my sister to do simple tasks on her own. While my parents are mentally and physically exhausted at times to have the patience to teach my sister I always step in to help. I taught Sophie how to tie her shoes, make her own sandwich, and am working on fixing her own hair. While I know she will never really be alone I do not want her to me helpless, because she is able. Despite her intellectual disability I believe in her too much, and push her to be independent and able on her own. As Temple Grandin's mother always told Temple, "you are different but not less" and that is exactly what Sophie is...different but NEVER less.