The Hawaiian word ahonui is
commonly translated as "patience." However, that translation into
English can be very, very misleading, because, as embodied in the word
"Ahonui", it doesn't carry quite the same meaning.
Generally, when we talk about
patience in English, we mean the ability to suffer hardship, or discomfort, or
pain, without complaint. There is a sense of inner strength or courage about
it, but it's essentially a passive concept. Something bad is happening to you,
but you put up with it bravely for as long as it takes.
"Ahonui" is the word we
are using for the last letter of Aloha, to give us a deeper understanding of
love. It means "patience." And, it is also the word for
"perseverance." It is not the patience of waiting out a storm. It is
the perseverance of moving through a storm to your destination. It is not
waiting to get healed. It is using everything you know and doing everything you
can to make the healing happen. "Ahonui" can also be translated as
"many breaths," the act of moving toward something you want for as
many breaths as it takes.
“The Healing Power of
Patience”
Serge Kahili King
I’m sitting
on a rustic deck in the jungle of Hana, Maui surrounded by people who love and
care for me, they are my Farm-ily. I came to work on a farm in Hana on May 23,
2015. I had no expectations coming here, all I knew was that Cory wanted me to
come here. I couldn’t explain why here, why this farm, but it was so strong
that I just listened to him and did everything I could to get here
.
My first
couple weeks here were tough, and I constantly found myself asking ‘why am I
here Cory? What am I supposed to be doing?’. I was immediately eaten alive by
mosquitos. Now I’m a born and raised L.A. girl we don’t have too many mosquitos,
so when I say that I had a strong reaction to mosquito bites I mean that each
bite would turn into a swollen blister and bruise. I had these bites covering
my entire body that it hurt having clothes on. On top of my bites I also
discovered I am allergic to papaya! (Which is dripping from every tree here). I
broke out in hives and found myself in the local health center for steroids to
calm down my reaction and crying to the kindest man on the farm who drove me to
the center. I’m sure I looked and sounded like a wreck, but besides my farm
dads here nobody knew my story of why I came here. Todd was the man who drove
me to the health center, who waited 2 hours for me there, and who I told my
story to and cried in his car. When I finished crying he looked at me with his
kind eyes and a look of understanding and said “Trust me. It will get better”. In
that moment I instantly let go and believed that yes it will get better, at the
time my body was physically suffering from my new environment, but as I look
back to that day two month ago I know what he said had further meaning
I knew I could
go home whenever I wanted. My family and friends were supporting me from L.A.,
and as uncomfortable as I was when I first got here I never once felt like
going home. Maybe it’s the discipline and determination in me, but I couldn’t give
up and turn my back because whenever I looked up at the sky or out into the
piercing blue waters I knew I needed to stay. The thought of turning my back on
this opportunity was like turning my back and Cory and I couldn’t do it to
myself or him. So I stayed! I’ve been living on Hana Farms for a little over
two months and I want to share everything you!
I’ve made
some great relationships here, with my communal farm-ily as well as in the
community. Making friends...isn’t that funny? Something we learn as a child and
sort of stop doing as we grow older, but these friends I’ve made here have that
same childlike friendship feeling. These friends I’ve made aren’t on the
surface acquaintances we get caught up with on the mainland. No, these are my
brothers and sisters, my mothers and fathers, my aunts and uncles. We live,
eat, play, support, hug, cry, fight, and drink together as a family. So, who’s
on the farm? Here we go…. My farm dads are Paul and Marty (a fantastic gay
couple, Marty is the brains and Paul works the land. Did I mention Paul has a
British accent?!), Todd and Carly (the sweetest loving couple I’ve ever witnessed.
Ok Todd is 34 and Carly is 22 and they met while working at Whole Foods, BUT
age doesn’t matter when love looks like that.), Lindsey and Justis (I call them
mom and dad, in fact in stores when I’m separated from Lindsey I literally yell
“moooommmm” like a child. They were my neighbors when we lived in "tent town" and
since night one here they have taken me under their wing, looked out for me,
and included me in everything.), Liz (Shes’s 29 and the older sister I never
had. Her time here ended and she’s gone back to Florida, but she was so fun to
laugh with, say silly jokes only we get over and over, and dance and sing rap
songs with. I miss her, but I know I will see her again), Tracy (He’s 29 and
our contractor on the farm for all our projects. A tall lanky guy from
Colorado who walked with me at 4:30am in the dark in the middle of the Hana
Highway so that we could do yoga as the sun rose over the ocean on a black sand
beach), Kari and Josh (Kari manages the farm hours and runs the pizza show on
the weekends and Josh is the hardest worker I’ve met who can do anything including
shotgun and beer in 3seconds! I kid you not, 3 seconds, I made him do it 3
times haha), lastly we have Alan (Alan has lived on the farm the longest. He
runs the pizza show with Kari and also goes on ‘the run’ once a week to get our
supplemental food and supplies for the farm. He drives the van to the other
side which takes 2+ hours does the shopping then drives back. He’s gone about
10 hours just to grocery shop, can you imagine?). Now for my local crew. My
favorite and only Hawaiian princess Ke’ala, (The most loving and nurturing
woman in Hana. She invited me openly to a family party my first week here and
introduced me like a sister to her friends and family. She has taken me to brunch and secret local only waterfalls. She is simply an amazing woman with
two adorable kids Isaac and Emma who call me ‘Auntie’! Which is what you call
someone older than you ‘auntie’ or ‘uncle’ as a sign of respect), Nate and
Nicki (Nate is originally born and raised in Hana, and I kid you not is over
7feet tall but somehow I never feel short standing next to him and Nicki originally
from Palm Springs and has her own jewelry business she has always included me
at every social event.) There are so many men and women that make this a great
safe community of 1200, no one is in a rush and everyone waves to everyone on
the street. Small town doesn’t define living in Hana, but family does.
My Farm-ily
Lindsey and Justis
Liz, Me, and Lindsey
Me, Tracy, and Gavin
Me and Ke'ala
Me, Ke'ala, and Lindsey
Since I’ve
been here I’ve learned a lot. I can whisk butter and sugar for an hour to make
yummy toffee, I can flip compost piles as big as a Smart Car in the pouring
rain like nobody’s business, I can bake 200+ loaves of banana bread in a couple
hours, I can replant Hawaiian pepper trees, weed garden beds, make potting
soil, propagate plants, kill weeds with cardboard, and rip can grass trees out of the ground
(which feels like fiber glass). Let’s get to the fun stuff now. I can smack a
mosquito between my hands in midair, casually brush a fat flying cockroach out
of my hair or food, play cribbage, open a beer with ANYTHING (even another
beer), hitchhike, pop a squat ANYWHERE, make crusty delicious bread, say yes to
every adventure, technology is fun but not have service and being disconnected
is more fun, pick up dead rats and chuck them in the jungle at 5am, use a
machete, use a sickle, being comfortable in my skin (weather its topless on a
nude beach or not looking in a mirror for weeks. We are all so beautiful
naturally.) And I've learned that people are inherently good and conversations can open so many
doors you didn’t know were there.
I’ve had so
many adventures since being here. I’ve explored by myself as well as with new
friends. I’ve jumped into an ice cold cave pool, hiked up to countless
waterfalls, jumped off big rocks in the ocean and ponds, ridden in the back of
a truck over 2 hours to get to the other side, watched the sunrise 10,000 feet
above Haleakala mountain, done yoga in the pouring rain on the beach as the sun
rose over the ocean, hitched to Paia and almost didn’t get a hitch back to the
farm (in fact we walked along the windy blind turned Hana Highway for a good
hour), and skinny dipped in the ocean with my farm-ily.
Top of Haleakala sunrise view
I still have
a month left on the farm (or longer if I wish to stay). But I’ve already
planned a trip to Kauai with my best friend who is meeting me there from L.A. I’m
ready for more adventures, lessons, and growing and developing myself. I know I have a lot of healing left to do, but
days don’t seem as hard to take on anymore, in fact most days fly by. I talk to
Cory often since I’ve been here and maybe it’s because I feel closer to him
here or maybe it’s the point I’ve reached in my healing, whatever the case may
be I feel that I am exactly where I am supposed to be. I’ve meditated a lot
while I’ve been here and while I don’t know my next steps exactly my future is becoming
a little clearer.
