Cracks~A Bittersweet Few Days

There is a Leonard Cohen quote I love that goes ‘Everything has cracks in it, that’s how the light gets in’. I have found this to be true so many times.

Something really terrible happened this week. A young couple we know had a baby on Monday.  At the time I thought how could they be having a baby they are So young. I then realized that they are the same age I was when I had Emily. The joy of the birth was short lived. On Thursday just three short days after his birth the baby was taken to the emergency room due to a fever. The young parents were waiting to be seen when the baby stopped breathing. He would stop breathing several more times over the next hour. He was transferred to Children’s Hospital and has been there ever since. The roller coaster ride of emotions this mom and dad are on touches my heart very deeply. I am all too familiar with the unanswered questions of why, how, when will we know. The four Ozzies have been doing what we can to help. We pray, call and text support, Emily has gone to sit with parents, as she is a close friend, Bill and I have put out the call for blood and platelet donors- this feels like nothing, a drop in the sea of their despair.

Wednesday Emily and Sophie were bickering as siblings often do. Sophie would touch something of Emily’s and Em would shout ‘don’t touch that it’s mine’!  Of course Sophie did it again and then Emily marched into Sophie’s room and grabbed one of her precious action figures. I then began to hear, MOM!!! Tell her to stop, MOM!! She started it- the anthem so siblings the world over. I had to giggle. My girls are nine years apart in age and since Sophie’s birth I’ve heard, I bet they NEVER fight. They do, they are sisters and in typical sister fashion they exactly how to pick at each other’s figurative tender spots. In the labyrinth of appointments, classes and therapies that is our norm these common shots of family bring me solace.

Then Thursday happened. Emily began texting me asking questions and giving me updates. I was hanging out with my friend ‘H’, our girls take social skills together so we take advantage of the kid free time to hang out.  When Em got off work she drove to the hospital to hug the mama and lend her support. The prognosis for the baby surviving the night was not great and I stayed up until after 1am to wait for Emily.

That was the crack. The deep gash that reminds us all how threadlike the line between life and death can be.  Friday morning the light poured in. We came to life striving to do better this day. Appreciating all things large and tiny. Emily called to ask if her sister had plans that afternoon she wanted to take her swimming.  When I inquired as to why the sisters date, why today? Her eyes had a spark to them, a light. I knew then that the struggle she was witnessing had cracked something in her and she remembered her deep perfect love for her sister.  Two sisters sharing love and adventures. When the light comes though the cracks it illuminates what we have, the things we sometimes forget about in the daily thrust to get things done. Thank goodness everything has cracks.